Its been a long while since I blogged, I wonder why. Maybe it has to do with the fact that school ended and i went back home, I tend to get lazy when I am there. So now I have to explain everything that has been happening in my life. Like the fact that i moved cities, well cities is an understatement. I moved across the ocean, I am in England now!! Yes you heard right, England. The land of the British or is it the Queen, whichever point is I am here. It has been a long 3 and something weeks. On paper it sounds so short but trust me a lot has happened. My new school or should I say University is in Leicester, a small town in England. I am still studying Economics so that has not changed. But so many things have, for example it is colder here, more strangers here. Okay that last bit didn't make sense but you catch my drift, I am living in a foreign land. I had to start over, make new friends, get accustomed to the people here, their ways, their accent, the list goes on. I will be lying if I said it hasn't been difficult, sometimes I just lay in bed and think about what i would be doing if I was back home, how things would be different but i don't dwell on it much after all I am in EUROPE! It is still a bit surreal to me but I will get the hang of it. Today was my first table tennis game, I lost miserably but I wasn't surprised. I haven't played in years and even then I was never that good. I had fun though, lots of it. I am now in the Economics society, Creative Writing Society and 2 others I am too tired to mention. It just occurred to me that this is my first entry where I wrote about my real life, not good. Must stop. Why am i here today, I just realised that I love attention more like crave it. Okay fine I didn't just realise it now but I never thought it was an issue until today. I want someone to wait on me hand and foot, to text me all day, tell me I am beautiful every minute. Basically I just need someone to acknowledge my presence. It is selfish and disgusting and I do not know where I picked it up but it is definitely not one of my best traits. When I don't get the attention that I so dearly crave I react. You know in Physics when they say for every action there is a reaction? Well it is sort of like that with me. For every attention that I seek from a particular person that I don't get I react. And trust me you do not want to see my reaction. It usually leads to bad stuff happening, gosh I hope I don't react this time around. What are your vices? Drop them in the comment box, make me feel better about mine I beg you!!
Can I let you on on a big secret? I am a sucker for love, romance, fairytale ending, the works. And for the first time I am happy to say I am not ashamed of it. Why should I be? Sure love hurts and it involves heartache and drama and binge eating - okay if I don't stop now I might retract that statement. I just recently discovered a poet called Rumi, he said: All we need is love's confusing joy . Dude was on point! If we are all really honest with ourselves we know what we want and that is someone who will accept us with our perfections and imperfections. Someone who will never leave no matter the mistakes we find ourselves making. Basically someone to love us. But lets face it, we are afraid. Everyone is afraid to open up, to be vulnerable, to give someone else the power to hurt us, some more than others. Truth be told I am scared too, just like everyone else the fear of getting hurt stops me from enjoying the fruits of love. But who can blame me, look around, nobody really ...
Draaaaama 😂😂😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteBathong, I was so dramatic!
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