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I miss that girl...

Earlier today I took an online personality test that prepares you for competency questions when applying for jobs, etc. The instructions were simple. You are given a couple of statements that describe a person and you choose how well they reflect your personality. As I was doing the questions I did a lot of thinking. Some of the statements included:

             'I never submit any work until I am 100% sure that is accurate.'

I remember a time in my early teens when that statement fully described me. I wouldn't submit any school work that I hadn't put 110% effort in. But nowadays I find myself submitting assignments for the sake of submitting  without putting in any effort. I miss that girl.

           'I often come up with innovative ideas to solving a problem.'

I used to be so creative and spontaneous! In my spare time I wrote poems and plays and short stories. My English essays were always so entertaining and original. If you assked me when was the last time I wrote anything creative, I wouldn't have an answer. I miss that girl.

           'I am open to new and challenging opportunities.'

When I started senior secondary school I did Additional Mathematics because I wanted a challenge. An older student had informed me that it was one of the most difficult subjects in the world and that almost everyone who did it never got an A. I chose it specifically to disprove his hypothesis and I actually didn't do too bad in it. I miss that girl.

When did I become this unmotivated, lazy, unimaginative person? Have all the trials and tribulations of life taken such a toll on me that I can't recognise myself anymore? I miss that girl, she was hopeful, she had ambition, she had dreams.

PS: I know I complain a lot about school but I am a student, that's the most important thing I have got going on in my life right now

Comments

  1. I absolutely agree, its like u lose focus as grow older i guess. I used to refresh with mathematics, i was never lazy and sometimes i would challenge myself with concepts beyond my level but someway somehow i will manage to figure it out..I used to think of my books even on my sleep. All that its gone now, the only thing i can think of is when am i going to finish school and start working blah blah..I have been lazy and i do not understand what happened to me. I guess its normal we all ask ourselves the same questions..what happened to the old me? where is that young motivated and ambitious lady at?We grow up to be lazy, but am determined to go back to the old me so Lord help me.

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  2. I know right! I really do hope I can get back to that old me soon but I am just so discouraged I dont even know how to begin to get there!

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  3. dont look at the past and compare yourself then and now....that was a different past a different person, different circumstances. Let go of the past and accept what is what now, and try to change what you dont like. Times change, society changes and most importantly people change. Thats what i learnt the last academic year when my life was falling apart.

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