The high of a great interview for the dream job you desperately want, that presentation you just had with the prospective client you courted for weeks or the proposal you finally sent in after moulding it into perfection. That high is followed by a great downward spiral, the wait. It’s a high for a reason. What goes up must come down. All good things must come to an end. And they do come to an end as the days go by. The first 24 hours are glorious. You are untouchable, you did the impossible, surprised even yourself. There is absolutely no way you aren’t going to be successful. Then the second day comes around and at first you are hopeful. It’s only been two days, no one makes such an important decision in just two days. By the end of the week you are a wreck. Doubts have all but clouded your mind. And your feeble mind succumbs to pressure, replaying everything over and over again, until there is nothing left to overanalyse. Did I smile too much? Or maybe I made a typo. Did I even shower that morning? What if I said the wrong thing and they were too polite to stop me? Maybe I should call them back. And you are plagued with all these negative thoughts that you start blaming yourself for being so optimistic, for having hope. Hope is for the weak after all. And finally you reach a resolve. It’s okay, you don’t need them. You are probably better off anyway. And on to the next one you go, restarting the cycle.
When I was 9 I wanted to be a pilot. I had just discovered my love for Maths and we were doing those problems solving questions in class that I absolutely love. Someone had told me pilots needed to be good in maths and science and that fit my description to a T! And then when I was 11 I wanted to be a lawyer. Lawyers talked a lot and knew about history and could defend themselves, and that was my whole personality then. Then 2 years later at 13 I discovered actuaries. They dealt with numbers and statistics and insurance and after one episode on SABC 2 about the day in the life of an actuary, I was convinced! I wanted to be an actuary for a while after that. Then finally 3 years later at 16 I learnt more about our then president, H.E. Dr Festus Mogae. He was an Economist. He combined his knowledge for maths and wanting to help people into being an economist. It was a no brainer after that, I wanted to be the female version of him. Honorary mention goe
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